So. I got invited to this private album release party (of one of my favorite bands, none the less) the other day and of course that meant that I wasn’t home really early. One could even say that I ended up home pretty late that night.

And now it’s the morning after that, and I’m slowly opening my eyes. This has been happening too much lately. The alarm clock is making more noise than humanly possible and I look like a Gordian Knot on my bed. My yoga instructor would be proud. I probably have slept for something like three hours again, and most of that upside down, or something. I notice I can’t really move my neck all and that my shoulder aches a bit. Oh boy. This will be a fun day.

I grab some breakfast supplies from the kitchen and hop in the car, since I’m already almost late from the Very Important Meeting at a Very Important Client’s office on the other side of town. We’ve had a lot of these lately. Stuck in the morning traffic is not really that much fun, even if you have the newspaper and your breakfast with you in the car. Luckily I arrive on time, find a parking place right in front of the office building, and run in. I pitch my ideas like a true pro should with my neck slightly tilted to the left and my eyes falling asleep half the time. Thank God for coffee. Then drive back to our office and when I get there remember that it’s moving day.

We’ll be carrying tables from one end of the building to the other. If my neck had a mouth, it would cuss. And my shoulder would agree.

Somewhere around the point where a table crashes on my foot I start fantasizing about the evening – going home, taking a long bath, grabbing a muscle relaxant and going to sleep early to get the day over with. Once the moving is done, time for some normal work, but I’m more or less just looking at the clock, counting the minutes to when I can go home.

It always does this at these points, doesn’t it? The phone. It rings. Mine has this little wonderful song as a ringtone. (Go ahead, listen to it, you’ll need the knowledge later on)

“Ptr.”

“Hiya. It’s Mi.” Ok, another Mi. Not the one from Tampere. Better call this one something else. Mie, yeah, that’s a good solid and won’t get confused with Mei or Mi (or Mi) at all.

So, “Hiya. It’s Mie!”

“Oh, hi.”

“I’m heading to Itäkeskus already to do some shopping, so if you get there early, give me a call.”

Right. We have plans to go for a quick cup of  coffee after work today. Mie is a wonderful girl who I went to high-school with who I see maybe once every two months over a cup of coffee, trade the latest rumors, complain how people around us are getting married and find solace in the fact that Mike at least is still single so all hope is not lost for us yet. It’s more or less a “When someone manages to get Mike married, we’re officially the last single people on earth” situation.

“Sure, yeah. Might take a moment longer, we’ve been carrying tables and shelves at the office all day and I’m all sweaty and covered in dust now. Will take a quick shower before heading there, ok?”

One thing I love about our office is the showers downstairs. Not so keen on the idea of delaying the bath and sleep, but we don’t see each other that often, so I can stay up using the power of coffee a bit longer. It won’t take long anyways.

“Oh, ok. Give me a call when you get here.”

I close the line. Right. Quick shower, another cup of coffee, and drive to Itäkeskus. This won’t delay my plans a lot.

I arrive around six o’clock.

It’s fun to see her. Always is. We catch up. I tell stories of my birthday party, the week when Santtu was here (damn, that one has some good ones I just have to tell you at some point), how I’m loving my work again, and so on. She tells about what’s good about hers in response. Then we gossip about the people we know, complain about other people getting married, and find comfort in the fact that Mike’s still unwed. Usually at this point we say bye, and that was pretty much what I had in mind when I promised to see her for a cup. But then we end up talking about cars. I don’t know how this happens, since neither of us are really “car-people”, but somehow we’re so caught up in discussing her getting a new car that when my phone rings cheerfully again (1, 2, 1 2 3 4!) at around eight, I have for a moment forgotten the plans to go to sleep early.

“Ptr.”

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

There is no question who is on the other end.

“Hi Kat, what’s up?”

“Well, you said that you might have some spare moving boxes at your place I could borrow?”

“Right, sure, of course.”

I suffer from chronic case of chivalry. I can’t stand the thought of a damsel in distress. While this has landed me a cameo role as an actual knight in shining armor in a book by an American author (long story), at the moment my neck is protesting loudly to my habits. But can’t help it. I bid Mie farewell, apologizing that I have to go so soon, finish the cup of coffee and go pick Kat up from Kallio.

Quick stop at a shop to get the basic grocery shopping done, then to my place, stack the food in the fridge, find the boxes and drive to her place on the other side of town.

During this, we end up having one of those ultra-deep conversations about human nature that just keeps going on and on. Life, love, freedom, all that. So our stops take a moment. When we finally get to her place with the boxes, it’s about half past nine.

“Thanks for the company, but I really think I should get going, take a bath, get some sleep. Maybe take something for the neck pains.”

“Yeah, of course, I need to start packing as well. And thanks once again for the boxes.”

At this point Kat’s flatmate pokes her head through the door.

“Aaa! It’s you! I’m just making some pumpkin pie, would you want to stay and have some?”

Curses. One of my weaknesses. A cute girl offering me pie. How can I refuse? And one slice of pie won’t take that long, will it.

So, some quarter past ten I’m getting ready to head home. Can you guess what happens next?

Yup. “One, Two, One Two Three Four! We accept h…” rings out from my pocket. I answer the phone, quickly glancing who is calling. And knowing what’s next.

“Dude. Where are you? The party’s been going on for like 2 hours already. People have been leaving disappointed when they’ve seen you’re not here. You got to come here. Stat.”

I sigh.

“Sure, Mike. I’ll drop by on my way home. Won’t stay long, my neck is killing me and not drinking anything, I’m by car. Wait? People leaving? What sort of a lame-ass house party are you having there?”

Not so lame, really. If there is something Mike’s good at (ok, he’s annoyingly good at everything he does, but anyhow..), it is hosting a party. Good, big house, lots of nice people. My “dropping by” turns to “Well, I might as well sit for a while and socialize” and then to “Oh damn, is it past midnight already, I should head home.” and to “Ok, it’s damn late and I’m tired, I’m going. See ya, guys”

I don’t really even care about the bath anymore. Just muscle relaxants and sleep. Really.

“There are a couple of things about your latest project I’d like to ask you before you go,” asks Matt when I’m heading out the door.

“If you want to leave, I can drop you off on my way home, you can ask me in the car, I just really need to get home at this point.”

“Sure.”

I recently started to waste my free time on a three year long art project (to be finished in December 2012, one of the reasons I suck at updating this blog) that Matt is somewhat involved in, and he’s really interested to hear what I have to say concerning that. A couple of girls who are also leaving at the time beg for a place on the backseat so naturally they are free to join. They’re more or less on the way.

It’s fun to explain what you’re doing to someone who is actually interested in listening to your plans, so we take the scenic route.

Around two in the morning I’m finally driving back home.

and then …

It’s last Tuesday. I’m enjoying an excellent 3 course dinner at Vespa in the most charming company, reminiscing the good old days. The duck melts in my mouth, the wine is good and it’s nice to have a normal chat that doesn’t have anything to do with work.

Actually, let’s stop right there. Might be better if I started a couple of hours earlier, just to get some context in. Sorry about that.

It’s last Tuesday, my payday, and I’m getting ready to go home, sending out a last minute work email. Thinking of going to the store, getting some food to celebrate said paydayness, when the phone rings. A familiar female voice greets me.

“Hiya, you still at work? I’m heading to the student café next door to get some dinner or something. Wanna come with?”

“Sure. Ok. Just give me a sec. Need to finish up here first.”

Well, that came out of the blue.

I walk out, around the corner and to the café. The place isn’t serving food anymore for the day, they stopped like 3 minutes earlier. Student restaurants. Typical.

“Sorry about dragging you here like that. What do you wanna do next?”

“Dunno, what do you want to eat? I’m buying.”

We head towards the city center, thinking of getting something Indian or maybe Tex Mex. For some reason we end up just walking around, dismissing one place after the other with “let’s not go there”s and “don’t really feel like that”s.

And then along comes Vespa, with a jazzy track playing from the speakers that makes us both stop and look at each other.

“Here?”

“Here.”

Neither of us have ever been here, but this seems like the perfect choice.

So, it’s last Tuesday. I’m enjoying an excellent 3 course dinner at Vespa in the most charming company, reminiscing the good old days. The duck melts in my mouth, the wine is good and it’s nice to have a normal chat that doesn’t have anything to do with work. Or relationships. Or trying to get to know the other person. Or the million projects I’m doing outside of work (like this blog). Or anything stressful. We talk about our dreams and our fond memories. Get lost in the moment while sailing in the everything that was and will be.

When we walk out from the restaurant I realize how I have lost the track of time during the dinner – the sun has just gone down. The regal shade of blue of that moment between the evening and the night fills the cloudless sky and the lights of the city are just being switched on, patterning the buildings with light and shadow. Gradients of yellows, greens and purples paint all flat surfaces.

The view is absolutely stunning.

I admit, that I’ve somehow missed the fact it’s spring already. Sure – the snow is gone for good and there have been birds doing their cacophony of music for quite some time. But I haven’t had time or the open mind to enjoy or realize that.

We walk through Esplanadin puisto and have to stop a couple of times to take photos of what we’re seeing and feeling. We climb up the stairs of Tuomiokirkko, smile at the cute couple sitting on top. It is said that Helsinki is one of the most romantic cities in the world. Even if I would normally just laugh and scoff at the idea, when I’m looking at those two sharing that moment in the flash frozen storm of color and shadows, I can see there being some truth to that.

This tranquil view is a side I remember Helsinki having, but one that I don’t get to see very often. I try my best to verbalize it, but all the words I can sigh just fall short. Incoherent.

Random happenstance, perfect timing, beautiful weather. No stress whatsoever. No rush. Life is good.

And then it’s last Friday.

It’s so last Friday.

I’m about this full of people and their problems with me, and people and my problems with them, and their problems with each other.

I’m driving in my blue Mitsubishi towards Tampere to get to a party, and I’m going through a bloody snowstorm to get there. Déjà vu much. It’s like Tampere is more tightly wrapped in the clutches of Winter than the rest of Finland. Reminding me that we, as a country, belong to the snow and the cold no matter what happens or how much hold Spring might get somewhere.

The party I head to is a good one, as the parties I head to usually are. A traditional house party. The kind where everyone has their own bottles. First person passes out before midnight. The conversations continue until the dawn breaks and a bit after that.

I really like Mi&Mi’s place, it  feels like a home. Small furry critters keep you company when the rest of the people at the party decide to go for a smoke outside. Warm colors dominate the palette, with orange holding court over reds and browns. There are people I know and love here, and some new ones I have never met before. Technically the premise is my birthday and the fact that one of the Mi’s got a dream job for the summer, but really it’s more a generic house party than anything. I must admit I’m not in the mood, but I smile and nod.

I am seriously doubting my decision to stay in Finland. I was originally going to a conference in Stockholm this weekend, but decided against it as I wanted to keep my birthday weekend for myself and the important people this time (was at another conference in Tartu last year this same time). I know conference trips are a great fun, so I’m really thinking that “what if I had gone this year as well” thought.

Friday turns to Saturday, and night becomes morning. I’m sitting in the living room with Mi, pouring my heart out. The two hours of sleep, combined with the cascade of things that I feel are wrong, is devastating. I whine about everything. How people aren’t getting along and I can’t invite them all to my parties because of that. How I feel helpless sometimes because I can’t help all those who I care about in my life. How it’s horribly annoying to wait for an email you know might never come. How there was That One Who Got Away 15 years ago who I never got a chance to talk with properly. How I miss my old cat that died last year. How it’s stupid that it’s snowing in April.  I’m just letting it all out. No matter if it’s recent or relevant to the moment.

I spend a good hour and a half just whining about everything that’s been bugging me the past few days.

It’s good to have someone who listens.

And while the whining helps with the annoyance, the melancholy stays. Mi listens, and is interested in everything I’m saying (she’s nice like that), but the tiredness gets to her eventually and she heads back to bed with the other Mi. I do some writing on their computer and head out, bidding my hosts farewell with a note thanking them of their troubles.

This birthday weekend is turning into a sort of a downer. No matter how much fun the party was, there’s too many things bothering me. Annoying.

A deep breath once I’m out. There’s still things to do at Tampere. Just bite your lip and carry on.

I have no idea yet how awesome things will turn out over the next 24 hours.

Trying to get back on the track now.

Sorry about that.

Rewind to last summer. I’m standing in the middle of a small town square, eating the most delicious hamburger I’ve probably ever tasted. It’s the bachelor party of one of my old friends. While the actual party that’s taking place in a cabin in the woods somewhere in the middle of nowhere, we came to the nearest town here to go to the local bar. Get a feel of the culture outside Helsinki. After a bar we found a nightclub here where we really dominated the dance floor. And now we’re eating grill food from the local food stand.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be posh. Small towns can be incredible fun. You just need the right people and the right attitude.

I’m meditating on this thought and it’s last Saturday, around eight in the evening. It usually is, come to think of it. And guided by this meditation, I pick up the phone.

“Lou.” The person on the other end answers, apparently confused by the fact I’m calling him. I admit, it’s been a while.

“Hi. What are you doing in an hour?”

“Uhmn. What?”

“You. At nine?”

“Uh. Nothing.”

“Ok, I’m going to need you for a few moments. Maybe a couple of hours.”

“Whuh?”

“Great, get ready.”

“Ok…”

I hang up and a couple of minutes later I have to call him again.

“A change of plans. I’ll be there in 20 minutes. Get dressed! I looked at the time wrong.”

“Wait, what?”

“Go go go!”

It’s about 9pm. We’re sitting in a car on Lahdentie. Me, Lou and Mei. I’m driving. Mei and Lou are trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

“So, originally you and Ptr were planning on going to some party at Otaniemi around eleven, and then he calls you just before nine he’ll be picking you up right now?”

“Yup. Do you have any idea where we’re going? He hasn’t told me anything.” Mei is apparently a bit worried we might not make it to Otaniemi by eleven. She’s so right.

“Well, on this road, the possible places are Korso, Kerava and Tuusula. I don’t see anything good happening to us when we get there in the next 20 minutes. Let’s just wait patiently and see what the crazy guy has planned for us.”

20 minutes later.

“Ptr?”

“Yeah?”

“We just went past Tuusula, didn’t we?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t tell me we’re going to Lahti?”

“Ok, I won’t tell you that.”

“Dude. What?!”

Lou is an old friend of mine. From ages ago. We sort of lost Lou for a while when he got married and got a kid, but he’s made a comeback lately (Still married, don’t worry). He’s the guy I was going to see Nouvelle Vague with back in 2007, so he’s not really surprised that I might pull off something like grab people from their homes and drive them to Lahti.

And it means a world to Mei to have him here. While I still keep in touch with Lou because of hobbies, Mei sees him maybe once a year, if that. And these two are like a sister and a brother. Lou’s an artist, Mei’s a scholar. But still they are best friends. Well, when they happen to see each other. Their approach to the situation is completely different. Lou is curious, Mei might actually be a bit worried what’s going on.

“Ptr?”

“Yeah?”

“Are we going to do something I’m going to hate?”

“Probably, why?”

“No, seriously. I should be preparing for a seminar.”

“Well, you were going to Otaniemi today, it’s not like you would have gotten a chance to anyways.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Oh, come on, it’s gonna be fun,” Lou saves me from having to convince Mei, “I know Lahti pretty well, used to hang a lot there when I was younger. They for example have these awesome mugs-of-kebab there that you can eat… Wait, we have to turn here if we want to get to Lahti.”

I wave at the intersections as they go by.

A brief moment of silence as it sinks in.

“We’re not going to Lahti, are we?”

“Nope, you might want to get a beer from the back. This will take a moment more.”

“Dude, what the hell do you have planned for us?”

To those who don’t know what sort of distances we’re talking about, we’re about 100 kilometers (bit over 60 miles) north from Helsinki right now and the road keeps going on.

After a lot of wondering and singing along to Mokoma, I pull over the car at a information stop / road map of Heinola. We walk to the map.

“Ok, try to find Ravintola Tukkijätkä from there somewhere.”

There is a moment of silence. Footsteps walking towards the car. The sound of the car door. Some rummaging. And then the sound of a beer can opening. Followed by footsteps back to behind me and a fatherly sigh, the one that Lou pulls off so very well.

“You’re saying that you drove us to Heinola to go to a place called Tukkijätkä.”

“Yup.”

Tukkijätkä is a guy who rafts timber. Closest analogy in English would be Lumberjack. So I’m taking them to a place called “Restaurant Lumberjack”

Hence the beer.

“Why?”

“There is a gig there tonight. Irina is playing. But probably we’re late from the gig already, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“You drove us to Hollola, to a place called Ravintola Tukkijätkä, to listen to Irina. You do realize that I’m going to gut you alive for this.” Mei is looking like she’s about to do exactly that.

“Not Hollola, Heinola!”

“Whatever dude, it’s outside Ring III.”

But wait. It gets better.

10 minutes later we arrive at Tukkijätkä, and there is a sign outside saying “Sold out.”

So, we’re at Heinola, without anything to do. There is a big blonde guy and a small furious brunette chick staring at me.

“Dudes. Wait! Don’t kill me yet, the night is still salvageable. Let’s walk this way, we’re sure to find something to do. The evening is not lost, come on guys!” I take a few steps towards what probably is the center of Heinola.

Something’s off. A memory creeps up my spine…

Shit. I’ve been here before. The bachelor party was here. This is the same bloody small town.

“Oh my god. I know this place.”

“What?”

“Follow me!” I start running.

It’s four hours later, we’re standing in the middle of the town square of Heinola, I’m eating the most delicious hamburger.

“Ok, that was just horrible,” Mei says while devouring french fries from a dish bigger than her head, “I don’t think I’ve laughed that much in ages!”

Lou says something in agreement while enjoying a mug-of-kebab-meat. I have no idea what he’s saying, but he’s smiling and munching down food.

I smile and nod. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be posh. Small towns can be incredible fun. You just need the right people.

Remember Tampere? The place where the streets are empty, there are no sights to see, the weather is cold, and the friendliest face I can find is the hotel receptionist. Well, I’m back, standing in the middle of what I assume to be the central square of this city and thinking “Oh, srsly?”

It’s about 3 months after the Great Christmas Trip of 2009, and the reason I’m quoting Grey’s Anatomy is… *drumroll*… the weather. I’ve just spent 2.5 hours driving from Helsinki to Tampere in a weather that is best described in words that are not suitable for live studio audiences. It started off as gray and uninspiring and by the time we were looking for a parking space, there was a full-blown blizzard trying to throw our car into the nearby buildings.

To get the full irony of the moment, a flashback to early this morning is in order. In this said flashback, imagine me being all cheerful and saying “Oh, the spring is finally here!” to my unimpressed co-workers. Clearly, in Finland, there just is no escaping the winter, is there?

I slowly rotate 360 degrees to get a good feel of my surroundings. Looking south is painfully impossible because the snowflakes want to dig deep into my eyeballs at supersonic speed. But in the other directions, the city looks exactly the way it did on December. Well, the snow is a bit more moist.

But still.

Srsly.

What the fuck is wrong with the weather in this place?

I’m here with a few Finns and a German. We’ve come to see a gig at a small café that holds about 20 people, and there’s 5 of us.

Interesting statistics of us five: Each one of us knows only two other persons in the car. Except the German, who knows just one. Each and every one of us has done capoiera at some point of their lives. Except the girl who sat on the front seat. And every single one of us had a relaxing drive here. Except me, who had to focus on not getting us all killed a lot. My hands are still a bit white from holding on to the steering wheel. Or might be the freezing cold. Hard to say. Either way, not exactly healthy.

We walk a couple of blocks in the snowstorm to Kahvila Valo, where the gig is just starting when we enter. Upon entry to the café, the artist introduces us to the rest of the people who are there, and we go occupy the last big table available (she knows two of the group beforehand, so that’s why we get introductions) I fetch a cup of Maté from the counter and settle down on our table. I don’t really have any idea what we’re going to hear, but all my doubts go away when the girl behind the piano starts singing a wonderful cover version of one of my all time favorite songs.

Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us

The gig ends way too soon, but at least I finally have some time to get to know the new people who have been in my car, we have loads of time before we have to hit the road.

And frankly, I don’t want to hit the road. It was painful to drive here. I don’t want to go there again just yet.

The German is a blast, as ze Germans usually are . We already talked a lot on the way here, but you can never really get to the finer nuances of who someone is when you’re trying to keep a drifting car on a road at 100km/h. This guy studies journalism in Germany and it’s his first time in Finland. He’s pretty much the same way I am when it comes to foreign cities – It doesn’t matter if there aren’t that many grand spectacles to see in Helsinki. He’s just been soaking in the atmosphere and enjoying the feeling of the city.

He, for some reason, finds Helsinki a wonderful place. When I ask “what’s so great?” He replies without hesitation “Well, the sauna for example.”

Well, even I can’t argue with that. He’s talking about our public saunas. They are a damn great thing. Especially in the winter. Man, I wonder how long it has been since I’ve last been to a proper sauna.

I talk a while with the Finns as well. One of them is pulling a “Dropping everything and getting the hell out of this country” stunt, which I think is kind of awesome, and something I’ve heard many of my friends dreaming of. Heading to somewhere warm and tropic. No idea what to do there, but figuring out that it would be better than here. Sunlight. Warmth.

And as a total opposite, I end up having a conversation about the meditative nature of that perfect moment of silence in the Finnish winter. Just walking to some field with nothing but snow in sight. And no sounds of life anywhere to be heard. It’s nice to meet someone who has shared that wonderful moment. The peace and quiet. The tranquil colors.

I exchange a couple of words with the girl who was singing, thank for the performance, pretty much. And then it’s time to head back home. We walk out of the café. The snowfall has ended. The sky has taken a purplish hue from the city lights getting reflected from the clouds. The sounds of the city are dampened. Everything just feels tranquil and perfect.

We enjoy the moment. Talking about how it’s wonderful that the ride back will be nice and relaxed, compared to the storm on the way here. The songs from the gig still echoing in our mind. For a moment, it feels like every bad thing in the world disappears.

It’s 15 minutes later.

We’re back on the big road between Tampere and Helsinki, and the Blizzard is back. I’m holding on to the steering wheel with both hands, fearing for our lives.

There is no escaping the damn winter here, is there?

]]> http://finnish-beauty.com/2010/03/20/srsly/feed/ 3 http://finnish-beauty.com/2010/02/25/milestones/ http://finnish-beauty.com/2010/02/25/milestones/#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 21:54:35 +0000 Ptr http://finnish-beauty.com/?p=306 It’s funny how these things go. This is post number 20 of this blog. I’m not sure if I ever planned it to go this far or if I was expecting it to die way before now. I have this urge to read Transmetropolitan again, to get back into the “angry columnist” mode and start complaining about how things are utterly wrong. But I don’t feel like having a point. More like just ramble whatever comes to mind as usual.

Mm. Events.

I just received my ticket for LABYRINTH // LASERPOINT // WHITEOUT, which is the first techno/dance event (I don’t really know what else to call it? It’s too big a thing to be called a rave, right?) I’ve been to in years. In fact, I haven’t been a person who would go to such events in quite a few lifetimes. Yet, I’m apparently going again.

Dubai rekindled my love for the music, and talking with some British friends who were psyched to see Proteus perform live (whom I remember seeing from what, 10 years back) made me realize how much I’ve missed the scene in Finland. So, come April, it’s time to suit up in all white, go pouncing on the dance floor. Still need to buy a few additions to make my outfit the way way I want, but awesome parties require some awesome purchases.

With everything I’m doing and everywhere I’m going, I’m slowly feeling like I’m reincarnating the me from a summer a couple of years ago – I was really doing things, going to places. Working my ass off to get enough money to do what I wanted to do. Participating in things that felt fun. I must admit that it’s probably writing this blog has gotten me closer to that again. I’m spending time thinking of places to go to and people to see. At first it was so I would have something to write about. Now, I’m again remembering how much fun it was. Doing things.

And doing things results in things I can look back on.

It’s summer of 2007. I think.

We’re heading to Provinssirock with a group of friends. The plan is to see Tori Amos live, and her gig is starting something like 21:00, sharp. I’m driving through Helsinki, straight from work where I’ve had to spend overtime on some project and now the schedule to get to Seinäjoki is falling apart around me.

We have a last minute addition to our group that I still need to pick up. Also because my godson is coming along with his parents, I’ll need to drop him and his mum to the family summer cottage before we can continue to the gig, with the father tagging along for the show. And we will need to take a detour through Tampere to pick up Mi&Mi who are coming too. The traffic is a killer and the raging storm above is making any increase of speed a bad idea even if it wasn’t.

We manage to pick up the last member of our crew, and the weather seems to be getting worse by the minute. As the car slowly creeps past the First Ring Road I’m actually commenting out loud how we should have brought bicycles, not a car. I can feel the time slipping away. In case you didn’t realize yet, I’m in a bad mood. Frankly just moments away from stepping out of the car and walking home.

I already know we’re going to miss the show, but decide not to tell the others, just put on my game face and tell everyone we’ll do just fine.

Someone puts Vesa-Matti Loiri on the CD-player. I don’t like the guy. No, I don’t have a valid reason for my dislike, I just don’t. Hearing his voice puts me this close to calling it a day. As we approach the Third Ring Road and I feel something switch in the flow of the cars. Movement. Freedom. The old blue is going forward. I slide beneath the Ring Road and when we reach the other side, it’s like a whole different world.

The storm front is torn open in front of us, pillars of sunlight streaking across the open road like searchlights in the night. A familiar cover of a Finnish hit starts to play starts to play and somehow a glimmer of hope wriggles back into my heart. Could be that we make it, after all. Or if we don’t, might be a pleasant ride after all.

We pick up Mi&Mi from Tampere, the sun shines, time flows.

The drive to Provinssi is long, and the road narrow. We drop off my godson and his mother at the summer cottage. It’s drawing awfully close to the start of the gig. And at the cottage, I can start calculating the remaining time with certainty.

The facts are these: I might be able to drop the car-full of people near the entrance, but then I’ll have to find a parking space. And that won’t happen easy since it’s so late. I find my mind going through possible scenarios. None of them end in everyone in the car seeing the full Tori Amos show, at least without me getting my car towed.

I decide that I can live missing a part of the gig, and I know that some people in the car can’t. We arrive at Seinäjoki. I turn towards the festival area, stop the car near the entrance. It’s quarter to nine.

“Get out, I’ll follow you as soon as I get the car parked. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. See you soon.”

They disappear from my view. I look at the line of cars moving towards the designated parking area. My friends are happy. I can live with this. Not happy, but I’ll survive.

Two blocks later, I realize I’ve made the wrong turn and ended up on a dead-end back street. A dead-end back street with one free parking spot.

I jog to the gate. No idea how many minutes I have left, I don’t have time to check. The stage she’s performing at seems to be at the other side of the festival area.

I consider picking up the pace, but can’t be bothered – I’m already running late, might as well walk.

I see the tent. I don’t hear music.

The glimmer of hope I felt goes away. I had looked at the festival map wrong once again. Not the first time that happened.

Some people are coming out, I smile at them and sigh.

I step through the tent door.

First step in. A drumbeat.

Second step in. Second drumbeat.

I walk into the crowd.

And the crowd goes wild.

Friday evening. Exhausted after a long deadline-week at work. I hear how an instant messenger “you have a new message” sound plays.

It’s Mitch.

“What’s your plan for tonight? Go out, party hard?” he has for some reason formed an image in his mind that these days a) I go out every Friday night and b) every time I do go out, somehting utterly weird and awesome happens that gets retold as legends for the countless years to come.

“Well, I’m not doing anything, but was thinking of warming up the car and driving downtown, go to a bar, socialize, drive home. Sober night. Wanna come with?” Might as well prove to the guy that my evenings out are usually less than legendary.

“Okay. I’m feeling quite social as well, so sure, why not.”

“Great. Let me take a shower, find something to wear and come fetch you.”

Hot shower, fix the hair. Find the suit pants I wore in the client meetings today. Grab a pink buttoned shirt, a vest, and sweater on top of all that, just in case. It was minus 15°C outside during the day, no idea what it’s like now, better be prepared for everything. Ah. Stash a spare tie in the coat pocket. You can never go wrong having a tie with you.

We head to Kaisla, but it’s full. Not really surprising, considering how popular being a beer-snob has become in the past few years amongst the 20-something academics. Next try is PRKL, which has room, but some of Mitch’s students are there, so we give it a miss as well. We eventually find ourselves sitting at Time, a nice small bar with high class prices and a terrible soundtrack on the background.

Mitch was one of my best friends as a kid. And the oldest friend I’m still in regular contact with. We talked about life, girls, computers, music and whatever came to our minds back then. That was something like two decades ago. Tonight we’re sitting in a bar and talking about … life, girls, computers and music. And even if the “what would it be like to have a girlfriend” talk is now more in the lines of “well, I was talking with my ex the other day” and the random toying with computers and music has become much more professional, it’s still pretty funny how things stay the same on some level.

I can see how the evening is not living up to his expectations already. He wants something legendary, and nothing seems to be happening. On his cue we take our leave. I have agreed to meet with my lil’ sis later, so we head to Cuba, stopping at a couple of places on the way there (it’s cold out there, so any stop where it’s warm is a good stop).

Considering that I’m bar-hopping with one of the best guitar-players in Finland, it’s really funny that he’s putting the social pressure on me for the success of the evening. I’m the mild-mannered graphic designer. He’s the rock star, he should do the heavy lifting. I chuckle.

To build up his reputation a bit here – if Mitch wanted, he could easily form his own band, get some other big names he knows to play in it, make a lots of cash and all that jazz. Hell, probably even by playing jazz. But what does he do? He’s a teacher. And nope. Not a guitar teacher. His expertise is some form of higher level maths that’s frankly a bit beyond my understanding. And he really likes what he’s doing. Or so I assume, because he keeps teaching and refuses offers to go touring with awesome Finnish bands.

Long story short, we do get to Cuba, meet with my sis and her work friends there, and have a great evening. The girls are maybe celebrating something or just spending the Friday there like they do every time. I don’t really know and it never really comes clear from the conversations. I have a few laughs, spend way too much cash on diet coke, mess my hair on the dance floor when some weird version of Prodigy’s Out of Space starts playing, and sing karaoke (well, technically Singstar or some clone) until my throat is sore. I have a total blast.

As I listen to Mitch’s recollection of the evening while we walk back to the car I can only imagine how it must have looked like through his eyes. He tells a story of how we went to sit in a couple of bars and had long conversations there. Then he had a few more with the friends and friends of friends at Cuba. At some point, he got confused for someone else briefly. And then he sang some karaoke.

He makes a remark on how it would be nice to meet someone new in such an environment and make random friends. Maybe even someone who’ll turn out to be more than a friend.

I smile, nod and explain to him how my life isn’t all adventures at the high seas no matter what he’s heard. Sometimes the best evenings come from just being with friends and enjoying.

What I don’t tell him is how all through the night I’ve been watching amazed (and maybe a bit jealous, I don’t like sharing the attention) as various cute girls keep checking him out (the first two were doing that at Time, right when he decided we should head out and find something interesting to do), and staring in utter disbelief as Captain Oblivious there managed to dismiss a Grade A approach from a beauty in Cuba (the whole getting confused for someone else thing). And it’s not just the girls. Some guy there actually bought him a beer, which he declined and continued with the conversation he had been having before.

“But even if it was just friends. It was a good night.”

“Yup. That it was.” I shake my head and smile.

To get back home from work today I had to use a shovel to get my car clear from behind a huge pile of snow and ice.

No, it didn’t snow today.

And my car was there only for two hours.

This and the fact that I had parked on a parking square didn’t stop the city workers from deciding that it’s okay to bury my poor blue Mitsubishi darling under the all snow they decided to clear from the street. I don’t think I’ve ever been this relieved to actually have a shovel in my car before. Well, there was that one time near the city dump, but I’d rather not talk about it.

Today it came to a use that was all good and respectable.

Took me about 20 minutes to get the damn thing cleared, and not just because of the wall of snow. Some trendy graphic-designer-looking guy had parked his car so that it blocked the only clear way out from behind the snow. The city workers must have had some relapse into humanity when they left that out, sadly this guy didn’t share the view.

When I had managed to dig up my car, he came walking to me, stepped in the car and moved it away, waving from the window, saying something like “oh, I hope I didn’t park you in there.”

I’m not a violent man, but I did get some not-so-creative ideas about my shovel and where it could be stored.

The really nasty thing about standing there in the snow for 20 minutes, shoveling, is that I tend to live in denial about the weather during these winter months. I wear my summer shoes and light pants whenever possible. I don’t use earmuffs, I don’t usually have a wool cap with me, I use a scarf only because it looks good. Last winter someone probably saw me walking in the snow wearing shorts and sandals. Unless it’s absolutely necessary I try to be more suited up for autumn or spring than winter. And since I have to spend about 10 minutes outdoors during my typical work day, a bit of winter doesn’t have time to bother me. Usually.

Two things were different today. First of all, there was that whole spending 20 minutes playing a St. Bernard to my car. And second… the “I don’t mind the weather” look is actually easier to pull when it is colder. This morning it was just maybe -3°C out there. The problem with the clothing isn’t the temperature. I can live with the chill.

It’s the shoes. They’re the killer.

Okay, technically it’s the snow.

You’ve heard the story how the Inuit have 600 words for different sorts of snow, right? The authenticity of that is something everyone can think of themselves, but “Loska”, the Finnish word for that awful watery snow (slush?) that forms around 0°C temperatures, is something that you should remember.

Remember it and have depressive nightmares about it.

Nightmares about it where you sink in it.

No matter how you try to balance or walk around it.

And it’s awful.

Bad-awful.

Bad.

That’s what you should be thinking when you hear the word “Loska”. That’s what my feet were thinking of when I finally got my car home. I almost thought I’d write a post about how the weather here is hell and I can’t stand it and I want to have tantrums and head somewhere warm where there are palm trees and stuff.

But as I hang my shoes and socks to dry, I must admit that there is one thing that’s awesome about all the snow and the temperature. Looking out the window, it’s still bright outside. Even when the sun hasn’t been up for hours. There is a slight mist in the air that refracts the light from the streetlights and nearby windows, and that gets reflected from the bright white snow covering everything. It’s an ambient glow that just flows in the air. And it’s just cold enough, that there are small particles of ice in the mist, that when they get in between you and a light source, they sparkle.

That, combined with the frost-covered trees that we have had for a week now, makes the winter landscape look like something unreal – straight out of a video game or a high-budget Hollywood animation.

I make a cup of hot chocolate, put on some completely unfitting music to play in the background and lean back in the sofa, letting my back muscles rest. They got some nice workout from the snow-shoveling and deserve a break.

There are a lot of ways to deal with the snow and the cold and the slush.

Sometimes it’s walking there, letting the whole atmosphere get to you and ignore the bad things about it.

Sometimes it’s cursing about it as loud as you can.

At the moment, being indoors, watching the cold from the protective circle of warmth the fireplace radiates feels just like the way to enjoy this.

I drink my hot drink and start pondering why I haven’t taken a nice pause like this in a while. Then I start remembering – I should be falling asleep soon if I want to be able to get up in time. In time so I can go to work early in the morning. Go there early so I can leave early. Early because I need to check in for the flight to Berlin at 15:45. And I haven’t even packed yet.

Okay, deep breaths. I can still do this, right? Even if I feel like I don’t have the time. What do you need for a weekend trip again? Spare pants? Toothbrush? Camera! Where is my camera? One more breath. Stay calm. Stop wasting your time. Focus and pack your damn bags.