“You know…

Your life really sometimes reads like a weird HBO series.”

Best compliment I’ve heard in a while.

It’s funny how the blog keeps popping up in normal conversation a lot these days. Everything from jealous-sounding passive aggression to people laughing at the moment they’ve recognized a person behind a nickname. And of course people suggesting what I should be doing next.

Suggestions are the best sort – “You really should go check out this..”, “You know what? You should go get yourself a traditional..”, “I think what you really need to do is go and..”

And while listening to one of these the other day I realized that I was getting boring. Doing the same stuff with the same people. Hours on the dance floor, partying like there’s no tomorrow. Nothing new under the sun. So, did something really old to balance it out. Well, something I hadn’t been doing in a while – Gaming!

And no, I’m not talking about Neil Strauss now.

Yeah, sometimes one just has to geek out a bit. And say what you want or act all high and mighty, but I am yet to see the guy to turn down the opportunity to beat his friend up in Tekken or to have fun rocking out on their favorite song while playing Guitar Hero World Tour.

Backtrack a couple of days. I’m having a bad day. One of the worse ones I’ve had in a while. And it’s not really anything specific about the day in question. It’s a cumulative effect.

I’m just annoyed.

Biggest annoyance is the fact that I’ve been disappointed by some people. Not all that uncommon, really. People do stupid things, you get disappointed, shake your head and move on. But when the disappointments happen in clusters and you happen to be on the receiving end, it’s not fun.

So, I’m sitting in the office, pretty much just going “Gah, people!” at the cubicle wall. The weather outside is gray. Things look bleak.

I hate to call this guy Mike on the blog, but it’s a pseudonym that suits him. Why not call him that? In the stuff that I’ve written in the past, people called Mike don’t have the best track record, ever. They don’t have what one could call bright and shiny futures. In fact they’re usually the ones who end up dead or worse. Just have to hope that this is not foreshadowing and call Mike Mike.

Anyways. Mike. Cheerful guy, one of my older friends, know him through Mitch originally. Used to go out with my sister a couple of times back in the nineties. A b-movie fanatic, b-boy… and I run out of b-words to describe him at this point. He’s one of those people who have born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but manage to stay relatively human despite this. He studies journalism and whatever else he happens to fancy at the moment. And probably will have a shiny future ahead of him no  matter what happens with his studies. One of the lucky ones. Nothing bad to say about the guy.

“You up for some fun and games tonight, I’m having the shittiest day and could turn my brain off for a moment or two after I’ve finished writing this paper. When are you getting off work?”

Nice to know that I’m not the only one having a bad day. Work ends early (can’t be bothered to stay there any longer than I need to, not being really productive) I pick up Mike and a couple of other friends and we head out. Now, say what you will, but no matter how crap you felt or how bad you play, couple of hours of blowing shit up virtually with a few friends just turns that frown upside down.

Back when we were younger, there was a tradition to go to someone’s place for the evening every now and then, play some, listen to music, hang out, have fun. And after that, walk a round through the neighborhood, talk about things. The hanging out was a prelude for the talk of all the serious stuff. Troubles in relationships, hardships at work, fears, hopes. Talk about the stuff that Finnish men just don’t talk about when they’re sober. These days we don’t live near each other anymore, so if someone’s by car, the ride home has replaced the therapeutic walks.

And 6 hours after feeling like crap when getting off work, I am back on track. Things are good again. It doesn’t take really elaborate things to accomplish good mood. Good friends, chance to wind down. That’s all one needs.

On some other days, it’s even simpler. This morning, all it really too was the fact that the sun is shining in the sky. The roads are clear of snow. I have a fast car under me (borrowed, my own car is reliable and rugged, not fast) and great music on the car stereo. And I’ve pretty much been smiling the whole damn day even if things haven’t been all that easy.

Tomorrow’s plan: The Return to Tampere.

“What do you mean, my life reads like an HBO series?”

“Well, take the trailer of that new series Treme, for example.”

“Yeah?”

“Lots of music, some girls, a city in ruins. I don’t know yet, but it could fit.”

“Right…”

Happy IWD girls, women. Hyvää naistenpäivää! Today I can safely say that it’s a damn great thing that you are women. Would be a damn shame if you weren’t. Celebrate it, enjoy it.

I recently looked at the statistics of the blog, and noticed that people had gotten here by searching on their local Google with the search term “Are all Finnish women insane?”

Short answer – No, but…

Longer answer – …the ones you’re trying to impress so they’d go out with you probably are. The old saying “Sexy, Single, Sane, pick two. Any two.” holds true here as well. Since you’ve set your standards on looks too high and wouldn’t dream of a person who already has a boyfriend… you’re out of luck.

In 2007, there were 37,000 Finns on disability pension because of depression. That year, 4,600 new people entered the pension system because of depression, making it the biggest single reason for entering the disability pension system. About 60% of these were women. (Statistics are a bit old and vague because I’m too lazy to find more recent and accurate ones. In fact, the hard work on mental healthcare has paid off some and I understand that the new cases / year has decreased some. But the numbers are still large.)

Sometimes I have this feeling that I know more people who suffer from depression or bi-polar disorder than people who are all “okay”. Add to that some BPD and things like severe phobias and anxiety disorders, and I can only repeat what I’ve said before – we’re living far too north for our own good. This land does not do good things to our mental health in the long run. The darkness of the skies and the solitude of the culture weighs heavy on both sexes equally.

And it doesn’t really help that we’re a country that has progressed from poor farming country to one of the high-tech centers in just a few instants. Our society hasn’t had time to cope with change. Our social norms are still adapting and suddenly everyone is rushing and no-one has any time to deal with anything. And sometimes it feels like the doctors here are way too eager to give you just a new set of pills instead of taking some time and finding out the cause for it all.

This year, the international theme for the International Women’s Day is “Equal rights, equal opportunities: Progress for all.”

If you’re not in position to help with that, I suggest that, instead of trying to figure out how to make it happen, you spend a moment reading up on depression. A lot of people have a lot of misconceptions about it, and knowing is really half the battle in this case. The about.com FAQ section, even if it’s filled with ads, is a good place to start.

And if you feel like you want to do something more concrete, call someone you think might be a bit down and ask how she’s doing and be a shoulder if she needs one. And don’t do it just because it’s the International Women’s Day. Do it because you care.

(And in case you’re in a relationship with a girl and forgot it’s the damn Women’s Day, call your better half now and tell her how you love her and tell her “Happy Women’s Day, dear” and that you’ll be making dinner tonight. And buy her flowers and chocolate on the way back from work. Damnit, do I need to fix every mistake you make? It’s less than a week to Steak and a BJ day, you don’t want to make her unhappy now!)